Move over Peter Schmeichel and Jimmy Glass. Anything you can do, Paul Kemp can do better.
Goalkeepers occasionally grab the headlines by scoring late goals, but this amateur stopper from Jersey has outdone them all by netting twice in one game.
Kemp, a 39-year old policeman, only recently came out of retirement as C Team keeper for St Ouen's FSC, whose website is powered by Club Website.
But the decision proved a great one in the Jersey Football Combination Division Three clash with Rozel Rovers C this month, when his late brace sealed a memorable 4-4 draw.
Paul's feat has grabbed headlines across the UK and even further afield - including this article from Portugal - but the self-confessed "frustrated striker" might never have had his 15 minutes of fame had he listened to his gaffer.
"Our manager Allan Ferey thought it was pointless for me to go up for a corner but Danny Craven, who was once on Leeds United’s books, swung the ball over from the right and I nodded it home from about six yards," Kemp told TheFA.com.
“There were literally seconds left when we got another corner. I went up again and this time I think it was an even better header, the ball soaring into the roof of the net.
"My team mates and our home fans were pretty happy, because the final whistle went as soon as the opposition kicked-off and we had managed to grab a draw in quite unusual circumstances”.
"Quite unusual" might be something of an understatement, as even the best goalscoring keepers are unable to match Kemp's feat.
Peter Schmeichel scored a total of 13 goals in his career, including a header for Manchester United and a volley for Aston Villa. Many of the Great Dane's goals were from open play but all, we believe, were in separate games.
Paraguayan legend and dead-ball specialist Jose Luis Chilavert was the first goalkeeper ever to score a hat-trick, but all three goals were penalties. He finished his career with a total of 62 goals, but none that we know of from open play. A remarkable haul, but one that has since been put in the shade by another South American legend.
Rogerio Ceni is the undisputed king of goalscoring goalkeepers. The Sao Paulo keeper has scored 103 goals for the club and is still going strong. He is the famous club's record scorer in the Copa Libertadores and last year became the first goalkeeper ever to reach 100 goals, to exstatic scenes.
So even the greatest goalscoring goalkeepers of our time can't match the feat by a policeman from Jersey. Take a bow Paul Kemp - and make sure you keep ignoring your gaffer's advice in the future!
Dan Pope, Club Website editor
What's the most unlikely thing you've seen on a football pitch?
Have you ever seen a goalkeeper score a brace from open play? We think it must be some sort of a record, but we're always happy to be proved wrong by you lot out there.
If you've seen anything this unlikely on the football field we'd love to hear what it was, so tell us all about it in our comments field below.